The writing style bugged me in the first couple of chapters – not really sure why now. I think I had to get used to it – because now I can’t even articulate why it bothered me!

In the final editing stage, maybe it might be an idea to give them less similar names.

While I wanted to insert more dream sequences prior to the reveal, the story somewhat prevented it, given that both John and Jack needed to be asleep at the same time to make the misdirection work as intended.

Another area of concern for me was wondering if you, the reader, would know who Jack is by first name alone. When we began the book, it made sense to refer to Baldwin by his last name, given his job. The only mention of his first name was upon first reference (and in this chapter). However, while writing this sequence, I realized that the “monster” would not refer to Jack as Baldwin, but rather by his first name, so I had to go back and insert his name prior to the first segue, in what should have been a subtle reminder.

As I said, there’s a lot of mystery here and I love the process of both building the mystery and unraveling it.

Trina – Thank you.

The Bug – Thanks to our newest reader. Glad you’re digging it. One question: When you say the style bugged you at first, were you referring to this particular chapter or the book itself? In any event, we’re glad the story made up for any shortcomings.

We’re writing this story as we post it, with minor edits. We appreciate any and all feedback, which will be considered during the final editing stage before the book is printed.

As always, thank you for reading,
david wright

It read pretty well. At first the style of writing bugged me for some reason, but then either the style changed or I stopped noticing because the story grabbed me.

Good work!