Comments on: Serial and Milk: Available Darkness – Chapter 3

By: BeAGoodDad

BeAGoodDad — Fri, 22 May 2009 18:06:29 +0000

I'm enjoying the story so far but did have a little trouble keeping track of who was who in this chapter. When you edit for the book, you should consider the note from the last chapter adding a line that says something like "Your name is John" so that he can have a name in these chapters. I think calling him intruder when the attacker also kind of seems like an intruder had me a bit confused. But, other than that, I'm enjoying the story so far. Keep up the good work. BeAGoodDad’s last blog post..Do Not Sign The IEP

By: David Wright

David Wright — Mon, 11 May 2009 02:29:08 +0000

Randi – Glad you like it. I hope this remains as far from predictable as possible.

Trina – Thanks!

Dave – Glad you’re digging them. Hopefully they read well together in one lump.

Solomon – Thanks. As to what’s next, find out Friday!

Marc – This is not your typical vampire story, and the typical rules will not apply here. Well, not all of them, anyway. As to your second question – The sentence begins with with the intruder’s action and stays with him, so the thoughts are his, too. Sorry if it doesn’t come off clear. We’ll consider that when we edit the chapters for the book.

By: Marc - WelshScribe

Marc - WelshScribe — Sun, 10 May 2009 13:36:07 +0000

Pardon my ignorance but this line:
“His footfalls were a siren to the bald man who spun around —Oh Christ, that face— just as the chair came crashing down, crashing into the man’s head with a sick, wet thump.”

Who is thinking those words I highlighted, is it the bald man or the intruder?

By: Solomon

Solomon — Sun, 10 May 2009 13:22:20 +0000

Oh, my God this intruder is quite strange killer.. what next...? Solomon’s last blog post..How to unshackle your writing muse?

By: Solomon

Solomon — Sun, 10 May 2009 13:14:32 +0000

It's a gripping... and very very interesting. I can't wait for the next one. The way the stranger hit the burly man and rescued the woman shows what a man he is. Good rescue... Great writing, keep it coming! Solomon’s last blog post..How to unshackle your writing muse?

By: Do You Dave Ramsey?

Do You Dave Ramsey? — Sat, 09 May 2009 18:29:15 +0000

Wow... so what the heck do I do now???? I had 3 episodes in my reader and now I'm all caught up. Argh! ...but it a good way! Here's to looking forward to next Friday. Dave Do You Dave Ramsey?’s last blog post..Debt is Squalor

By: Marc - WelshScribe

Marc - WelshScribe — Fri, 08 May 2009 23:53:01 +0000

Wow. Like Randi. I didn’t see that one coming. I half expected the “intruder” to come to a stunning halt as he was unable to cross the threshold of the doorway.

Fantastic writing guys. Bring on chapter 4

By: Trina

Trina — Fri, 08 May 2009 21:57:18 +0000

Chilling and thrilling, CH. 3 did not dissapoint.

By: Twitted by Kool_Aid16

Twitted by Kool_Aid16 — Fri, 08 May 2009 21:37:45 +0000

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By: Randi

Randi — Fri, 08 May 2009 16:55:15 +0000

Ooh, I love it when I don't see it coming, and I totally did not predict that he would have killed the woman. After all, he went there to save her. My woman's mind was expecting a little smoochy smoochy and instead, she dies. This is going to be one thrilling carnival ride, I can tell. Randi’s last blog post..Bloggers With Heart